{"id":182,"date":"2021-01-11T17:47:38","date_gmt":"2021-01-11T17:47:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/?p=182"},"modified":"2021-01-11T17:56:45","modified_gmt":"2021-01-11T17:56:45","slug":"09-01-2012","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/?p=182","title":{"rendered":"09.01.2012"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"710\" src=\"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Listy-do-wiezienia-1024x710.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-143\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">09.01.2021<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cze\u015b\u0107 Kochana! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I cho\u0107 wiem, \u017ce to tylko na chwil\u0119\u2026 I cho\u0107 wiem, \u017ce to zaraz przeminie\u2026 I wiadomo &#8211; nie ma co si\u0119 zatraca\u0107 w emocjach\u2026 Tyle ju\u017c wiem\u2026 Z drugiej jednak strony, ignorowane, odpychane nie daj\u0105 za wygran\u0105. S\u0105 jak dzieci, kt\u00f3re zrobi\u0105 w s z y s t k o, \u017ceby zwr\u00f3ci\u0107 na siebie uwag\u0119 i dosta\u0107 zapewnienie, \u017ce s\u0105 kochane\u2026 A zatem gwoli mi\u0142o\u015bci\u2026, gwoli okazania mi\u0142o\u015bci\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wczoraj popo\u0142udniu s\u0105siadka zapyta\u0142a, czy u nas w dobrze. Dotkn\u0119\u0142o to mojego serca, ale odpowied\u017a przysz\u0142a nast\u0119pnego dnia przy kawie w ciemno\u015bci, to jest na podw\u00f3rku, oko\u0142o sz\u00f3stej rano. Napisa\u0142am par\u0119 zda\u0144 po angielsku i wrzuci\u0142am je do skrzynki s\u0105siad\u00f3w. Po angielsku, bo nie chcia\u0142o mi si\u0119 gimnastykowa\u0107 z moim oko\u0142o trzyletnim niemieckim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My heart is breaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">May it break open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I feel like I\u2019m ready to dye for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m ready for love, I still don\u2019t quite believe\u2026, don\u2019t quite trust\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do I know how it feels\u2026?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Though, give in to fear und merely struggle to survive \u2013 no longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The scared part of me is not scared enough any more to give up love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So easily\u2026, as before\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Things are being taken away from me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m hoping\u2026, maybe it\u2019s to see that left with nothing I\u2019m still worthy of being loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Od nikogo nie us\u0142ysz\u0119, \u017ce jestem warto\u015bciowa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Od nikogo nie us\u0142ysz\u0119, \u017ce to co robi\u0119 jest warto\u015bciowe, \u017ce wnosi dobro.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cho\u0107by mi to m\u00f3wiono.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bo to musia\u0142oby najpierw szemra\u0107 we mnie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dlaczego w og\u00f3le tak t\u0119sknie za poczuciem, \u017ce jestem co\u015b warta\u2026?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To m\u0119cz\u0105ce codziennie w napi\u0119ciu wyczekiwa\u0107, czy wstanie s\u0142o\u0144ce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pr\u00f3bowa\u0142am rano na sennym ciemnym podw\u00f3rku utuli\u0107 siebie w ramionach, przygarn\u0119\u0142am swoj\u0105 g\u0142ow\u0119 do swoich piersi, do swojego serca. Trzymaj\u0105c j\u0105 uwa\u017cnie, a zatem delikatnie, bra\u0142am na d\u0142onie bolesne my\u015bli i pozwala\u0142am im odfrun\u0105\u0107. Zobaczy\u0142am bia\u0142e \u0142ab\u0119dzie pi\u00f3ra ko\u0142ysz\u0105ce si\u0119 na lam\u00f3wce jeziora.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">P\u0142aka\u0142am g\u0142o\u015bno, czu\u0142am na policzkach i brodzie ciep\u0142e s\u0142one potoczki.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Zobaczy\u0142am zn\u00f3w Ma\u0142\u0105 Dziewczynk\u0119. Powiedzia\u0142am jej bez s\u0142\u00f3w mi\u0119kkim spojrzeniem, \u017ce to ponad dzieci\u0119ce i czyjekolwiek si\u0142y kontrolowa\u0107 tat\u0119 alkoholika i mam\u0119 pogr\u0105\u017con\u0105 w depresji.&nbsp; Nie b\u0119d\u0119 jednak tej Ma\u0142ej przy sobie \u2013 a wi\u0119c siebie przy niej &#8211; przytrzymywa\u0107. Smutkiem. Pokazuje si\u0119, przychodzi do mnie, to daj\u0119 jej co tam mam w zanadrzu, \u017ceby si\u0119 wzmocni\u0142a i puszczam j\u0105 w \u015bwiat\u2026 Oddaj\u0119 j\u0105 \u017cyciu\u2026 Nie chwytam kurczowo jej r\u0105czki.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Czekam tu na Ciebie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Gdy wyjdziesz, p\u00f3jdziemy na kwietn\u0105 rozko\u0142ysan\u0105 \u0142\u0105k\u0119\u2026 B\u0119dziemy po niej chodzi\u0107 boso\u2026 Zachodz\u0105ce s\u0142o\u0144ce oz\u0142oci nam powieki\u2026&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">S\u0142owa zamilkn\u0105 w zwyczajnym zachwycie.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ma\u0142go rosa<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ilustracja: Katsushika Hokusai, \u201eSarumaru Dayu\u201d from the series \u201e100 Poems by 100 Poets\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/zrzutka.pl\/skg34e\">https:\/\/zrzutka.pl\/skg34e<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>09.01.2021 Cze\u015b\u0107 Kochana! I cho\u0107 wiem, \u017ce to tylko na chwil\u0119\u2026 I cho\u0107 wiem, \u017ce to zaraz przeminie\u2026 I wiadomo &#8211; nie ma co si\u0119 zatraca\u0107 w emocjach\u2026 Tyle ju\u017c wiem\u2026 Z drugiej jednak strony, ignorowane, odpychane nie daj\u0105 za wygran\u0105. S\u0105 jak dzieci, kt\u00f3re zrobi\u0105 w s z y s t k o, \u017ceby&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/?p=182\">Czytaj dalej <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">09.01.2012<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-182","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-listy","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=182"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":186,"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182\/revisions\/186"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=182"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=182"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patrzeniewsiebie.pl\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=182"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}